Rage Quits With Link, Fi, Zelda, and Other Douchebags
by IwuvSoul
Summary: All the moments where I've wanted to smash my Wii in one file. This contains Skyward Sword scenes, so you may not want to read if you're still playing. I myself am not done, so I'll upload them as I go. I've bleeped out all cursewords. Enjoy :)
1. Not Listening To Your BoyFriend

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 1- Pushing Your BoyFriend Off a Cliff

Zelda: Come on Link! Let's practice!~

Link: No loftwing. No Jump.

Zelda: Stop being Lazy! GO!

IwuvSoul: Nice excuse for pushing him off a cliff. I'm gonna use this on my boyfriend in a few years.

Zelda: *pushes Link*

Link: *whistles*

IwuvSoul: Ok, let's see my loftwing in action! Which colour do I want? PURPLE!

King: It's been taking a while. Where's the loftwing?

Zelda: OMG HE WAS SERIOUS!

IwuvSoul: No Shit Sherlock. STOP BEING SUCH A- SUCH A- SUCH A BLOND!

*later*

Zelda: Are you ok friend?

IwuvSoul: Great Thank-you. But I'm not so sure about Link...

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HER F***ING LOFTWING.


	2. Guessing The Bad Guy Early

**MoMo (Friend #1 otherwise known as hypercupcake74 ) : I Made it in YES! I DID IT!**

**IwuvSoul: Shut up Jun. I'll sick NayTayShay on you.**

**NayTayShay (Friend #2): LOLZ AXL!~**

**IwuvSoul: I'll Maka-chop you if you do that again. Both of you shut up before you completely ruin my intro-**

**Niyan-Cat (Friend #3):BUT I DIDN'T MAKE IT IN!1!**

**IwuvSoul: *sigh* This is my group od idiots, otherwise known as my best friends (I'm just joking, most of the time you're smarter than I am -_-' ). I'd like to thank you three for giving me my ideas even though sometimes it just randomly comes to me when we're talking. I love-**

**NayTayShay: LO-LO! LO-LO! LO-LO!**

**IwuvSoul: -all of you as friends except NayTayShay. You scare me...**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 2- Guessing your enemy and getting angry early... Then being wrong

Link: And that's what happened to Zelda.

King: ... She's got her loftwing. She's good.

IwuvSoul: NO! NO NO! SHE IS NOT OK! I THINK SOME OTHER MOTHERF***** DECIDED TO KIDNAP HER! WHY WON'T GANONDORF DIE! IT'S TIME TO KILL THAT LITTLE BIT** FOR STEALING MY GIRLFRIEND! AGAIN!

_later_

?: I am Ghirahim.

Link: *Braces self*

IwuvSoul: Sorry who?

Ghirahim: NOW! Let us battle!

IwuvSoul: Wait, this isn't pokemon! I'm confused! WTF is a Ghirahim? And why do you want to fight me and... *presses A button* oh, wait, I've got to send an apology letter to Ganondorf...

*Battle*

IwuvSoul: OH WAIT I'M IN BATTLE! Um, ok, wii remote in right hand, nunchuck in left, um, how am I supposed to kill you exactly?

Link: *dead*

IwuvSoul: Oops. I did it again. I got confused and put the remote down... At least this isn't real life right! Let's go kill this little Bit** Link!

Link: *Still dead*

IwuvSoul: What? Get up.

*Dead screen*

IwuvSoul: I, I ran out of faries... TIME TO SMACK SOME BITC*ES


	3. Hallucinating? Nope There's Just a Creep

**Niyan-Cat: YAY! I'm gonna get more than two words! And you still haven't given me the link (No pun intended) to your fanfic Soul Eater After Story (Insert IwuvSoul's real name here).**

**NayTayShay: CHOCOLAT IS THE BEST THING EVER! READ IT OR DIE!**

**MoMo: I wonder what I should do to (Insert IwuvSoul's real name here)'s fanfic. Hey IwuvSoul!**

**IwuvSoul: *Cringe* Y-Yes?**

**MoMo: Gimme an idea for your fanfic! No sleazy sex scenes though, ok?**

**IwuvSoul: *facepalm* I'm a fangirl. I only come up with sleazy ideas. **

**MoMo: No Soul Plushie For You!**

**IwuvSoul: *sigh* This is my fanfic. GTFO**

**(Niyan-Cat doesn't get another line- sorry :3 )**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 3- Not Going Back To Bed

Link: *hears weird noises*

IwuvSoul: I don't know what that is Link, but let's not check it out, ok?

Link: *opens door*

IwuvSoul: HAVEN'T YOU SEEN SLEEPING BEAUTY? THIS! IS! BAD!

Link: *gasps and sees phantom*

IwuvSoul: Oh great, now he's hallucinating. FUN. Meh, maybe it's real. This IS a game after all. But, what if it's an enemy... Meh, F*** it.

*follows phantom*

?: I am Fi (pronounced FEE D: )

Link: *nods*

IwuvSoul: Who named you, exactly?

Fi: I am the messenger of the goddess.

IwuvSoul: Oh Sh** I just offended the goddess' name.. Meh, they can't hear me.

Fi: Will you save the world?

IwuvSoul: IS THERE A F*** NO OPTION? I'D LIKE TO USE IT RIGHT NOW!


	4. Choosing a Remlet

**IwuvSoul: Yes, it is I, the lovely IwuvSoul, here to show you more of my annoying rants-**

**NayTayShay: WHY DO I SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT IN ALL OF THESE?**

**IwuvSoul: Because 90% of what you say is stupid.**

**MoMo: . . . .**

**Niyan-Cat: WHY IS MY NICKNAME SO TERRIBLE? I PREFER NIYAN-NIYAN OR ANYTHING ELSE!**

**IwuvSoul, MoMo, and NayTayShay: Nobody Cares.**

**Niyan-Cat: I'm going to go make a hamster home (;_;)**

**IwuvSoul: You don't have a hamster...**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 4- Choosing a Remlet- And Being Unable to Fight Back

MoMo: You seem pretty happy. What're you doing?

IwuvSoul: I'm playing Skyward Sword. There's this adorable little remlet thing.

MoMo: What's it like?

IwuvSoul: Like a racoon and a cat had a baby. It's adorable. You know what, I'm adopting this one in Northern Skyloft. It's so cute as it sleeps in flowers! *picks up and twirls*

MoMo: Sounds like an enemy. I'm gonna google it. "Remlets are the cats of Skyloft. Do not fall for their cute appearence though. . . . ."

IwuvSoul: Too Late! I'm gonna name you... Fluffy.

MoMo: *Facepalm*

*later in session*

IwuvSoul: WOAH! IT'S LIKE, NIGHT TIME. WOAH! NO OTHER ZELDA GAME DOES THIS! THIS! IS! AWESOME!

*sees remlet*

IwuvSoul: Aww, Hi Fluffy! You missed me so much you're running towards me! I missed you too! *runs*

Fluffy: *attacks*

Link: *Dodges*

IwuvSoul: Fluffy, why do you have demon eyes?... What was MoMo saying earlier?

. . . _Remlets are the cats of Skyloft. Do not fall for their cute appearence though, they can be dangerous after dark._

IwuvSoul: Oops. I. Must. Fight. Back. But do I have the guts?

Link: *dead*

IwuvSoul: HOW DARE YOU BETRAY YOUR MASTER. I WILL KILL YOU LATER LITTLE MOTHERF*****! SEE YOU IN HELL!

*later*

Fluffy: Meow!

IwuvSoul: *terrified* Stay- Stay AWAY!

* * *

No Links were harmed in the making of this fanfic. Yes, I did name a Remlet Fluffy. Don't judge me.


	5. Loftwing Blues

**Today's introduction will be a little different. I'm just going to point everyone in the proper direction for certain fanfics. If you're just content reading my fanfic and want nothing of it, the please scroll down until you reach the line. Thank-you for your support.**

**Forgotten Figures By hypercupcake74 (otherwise known as MoMo) - Soul Eater**

**Baby Mine By waiting-for-you443 - Soul Eater**

**Counseling with the Black Butler Boys By DarkOtakuKnights - Black Butler**

**A step in my shoes By BeriForeverFan - Soul Eater (I read WAY WAY WAY to much Soul Eater)**

**Black Butler:The Orphan By Hagen Mocha Crystal -Black Butler**

**I'm sorry if you read this wanting to see something not anime/manga related, but I haven't got around to that side of the site yet. Baby Mine and A step in my shoes are SoulxMakas, and Forgotten Figures by my friend is her OCxSoul. Counseling with the Black Butler Boys is amazing if you want to wake your parents up at midnight with your laughter. Black Butler: The Orphan is... no words. Sebastian adopts a child and he... I'll leave it there. If you're a fan of either of the two animes/manga above I recommend checking them out.**

**I promise to show you some good fanfics for books soon! You can see Divergent, Percy Jackson and The Olympians, Swoon, Harry Potter, The Night World, Vampirates, Museum of Thieves and The Hunger Games coming soon to my section of the site.**

**I'll also be doing some games like an assortment of Pacthesis games (Pacthesis is a deviantart user), another Legend of Zelda fanfic, Skyrim, A tiny tiny tiny one chapter Halo thing, Something with Mario, I'm gonna try and turn Club Penguin gangster (My baby cousin's been bugging me to do one), A Kirby rage quit (cause god knows I've got a million for Kirby), Sims 3 (my vocaloid family) and Amnesia.**

**I'm gonna finish this project, then I think I'll start on another fanfic I promised to do before this one, Demon Girl. Then I'll probably do a Museum of Thieves one, but if you guys comment like crazy advising me against it then I may not...**

**I've kept you all long enough. Enjoy!**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 5- Loftwing trouble

IwuvSoul: AAAAlrighty. Time to go smack some b****es with my sword and save the word. Ready, Fi, my B****? (This is my equivalent to happy)

Link: *flying Loftwing*

IwuvSoul: I wanted a purple Loftwing. LINK THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Link: *jumps off loftwing and falls to death*

IwuvSoul: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Link: *back at Skyloft*

IwuvSoul: Damn it.

Link: *flying*

IwuvSoul: I wonder what Link's loftwing's name is? Hey Link!

Link: *slightly changes posture on loftwing*

IwuvSoul: *gasp* That must mean yes. What's your loftwing's name Link?

Link: *Silent*

IwuvSoul: You named your loftwing _? That's terrible! It oughta have a proper name how about... Skyfall? 'Cause it flies in the sky and I can use it to make you fall to your death?

Link: *slightly changes posture on loftwing*

IwuvSoul: *gasp* That means yes!YAYAYAYAYAYAY!~

IwuvSoul: I know, let's do something awesome! Like fly through a rock with a hole in it! Let's go Skyfall!

Skyfall: *flies over to rock with hole in it*

IwuvSoul: Careful, Careful, Careful...

*Skyfall hits side of rock*

IwuvSoul: DAMN IT! Let's try again ok Skyfall! *glares at Link*

*5 minutes later*

IwuvSoul: GO IN! GO IN! GO. IN. RIGHT. NOW. (I know, perverted, right?)

*NOTE I DID NOT PAUSE GAME*

IwuvSoul's dad: (insert IwuvSoul's name here), watch what your saying.

IwuvSoul: *Thinking* _Oh god. Better play it innocent._ What am I saying wrong Daddy?

IwuvSoul's dad: ... Nothing. Just be careful.

IwuvSoul: *thinking* _I'm thirsty. I want water._

*walks away*

*A couple minutes later*

IwuvSoul: Wait, where... where... where did he go? I can't do this without him! COME BACK TO ME!

IwuvSoul: *shakes Wii remote*

*Link and Skyloft come out of clouds*

IwuvSoul: *gasp* SKYFALL! I MISSED YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! WHERE DID YOU GO? YOU HAD ME SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WORRIED! LINK! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULDN'T DRIVE FOR 5 FREAKING MINUTES? YOU FREAKING DUMBA**! THAT'S WORTH ONE SUICIDE JUMP!

Link: *jumps off loftwing and dies*

IwuvSoul: ^-^

* * *

**I'm very conflicted to say in the least.. ^-^'**

**Can somebody send me the link (no pun intended) to a map of the Lanayru Desert trial tears? I've only found 14, and I am so freaking frustrated with it. Expect 2-3 chapters on it.**

**I've realized that this game makes me look like I need anger management, and on behalf of myself I'd like to give to excuses.**

**1. It's a childish game so when I come across something I have problems with it pisses me off. Someone my age should be playing a game like this with ease (because I've grown up with Zelda and it was first placed in my hands when I was like 6).**

**2. This game just brings out my Dark side.**

**This fanfic makes me seem so.. dark and scary. At school, I swear to god, I'm giddy and laugh all the time. This is so not me.**

**Another thing, I want to have a signature line I can say at the end of each chapter. ( My signature opening is IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME! _At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into...) _Please leave a comment voting for one of the ones below.**

**Chomp Chomp,**

**-IwuvSoul**

**Goodbyes? 'Aint nobody got time for that.**

**-IwuvSoul**

**Polly want a cracker? TO DAMN BAD!**

**-IwuvSoul**

**I'm just screwing with ya'**

**-IwuvSoul**

**Your godess,**

**-IwuvSoul**

**That's good, I think. Post the one you like and I'll choose the one with the most votes. 10 points to whoever gets the Chomp Chomp, ending. (Clue, it's from a youtube video by Hishe)**

**jitegnh34erj**

**-IwuvSoul**


	6. I'm The Only One Allowed To Kill Link

**I'm gonna start with an apology.**

**I'm SO SORRY that I haven't posted in what feels like forever. I started writing like, 3 other fanfics, and put this on the back burner 'cause I was like, Meh, not that important. I swear to god, I'll post A LOT more often from now on. But I'm gonna need to post a few more chapters of assorted things so I won't have a special date like, ok, today I'll post this, and tomorrow I'll post that, because every time I do that, well, I don't like obligation.**

**I want to say an extra special thank-you to all who have reviewed, you all have made my day. You know who you are. 3**

**Oh, MoMo, NayTayShay, and Niyan-Cat are all good. I'm just scared a little of NayTayShay and I think she's a little, ah, upset with what she's been saying. If I certain fangirl goes missing we all know who to point fingers at, am I right?**

**I know none of you read this, so I'm wasting my time. Good-bye imaginary reader!**

**(If you're reading this than that's awkward ^-^' )**

**- The lovely IwuvSoul**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 6- Suicide Jump Fail?

IwuvSoul: Oh-Kay. Time to fly into the beacon of light. Time to go kill some beotches.

Link: *flying*

IwuvSoul: *bored*

Link: *flying*

IwuvSoul: *BORED*

Link: *Flying*

IwuvSoul: DO SOMETHING ALREADY!

Bubble on screen: Jump (A)

IwuvSoul: NOBODY TELLS ME WHEN OR WHEN NOT TO KILL LINK!

Link: *jumps*

IwuvSoul: What the F*** BRO? It's MY job to make you kill yourself! You don't have a choice!

*moment of realization*

IwuvSoul: *gasp* He never died before... but he never hit the ground... He just teleported back to ground... but this time he'll really die! I've got no Faries! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

Link: *falling*

Bubble on screen: Sailcloth (B)

IwuvSoul: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA NOPE! YOU TRYED TO KILL SKYFALL NOW YOU DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Link: *automatically brings out sailcloth*

IwuvSoul: Douche.

*later in temple*

Beard Lady: Link, will you embark on the quest or something?

Link: *waits for IwuvSoul*

IwuvSoul: *mesmerized by beard/pendulum/mustache?*

_I actually sat there for like 5 minutes just staring at that thing. I was like, OMG, how's this happening? How do you braid your hair like that? And it can't be comfortable... So why'd you do it? It's not even pretty..._

_I've got problems._

_Polly want a cracker? TOO DAMN BAD!_

_-The lovely IwuvSoul_


	7. Bee Free?

**IwuvSoul: I'M SOOOO SORRY! I HAVEN'T POSTED IN FOREVER! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**NayTayShay: Just shut the hell up and post the damn chapter. Stop wasting your time on this crap that no one reads.**

**IwuvSoul: T^T Ok.**

**NayTayShay: LOLZ Axl face LOLZ**

**Niyan-Cat & MoMo: *facepalm***

**IwuvSoul: On a brighter note, I'm back! And I think NayTayShay has stopped trying to kill me for putting her in this! Yay! Happy Day! I'm sorry about not posting for a while. My teachers decided it would be a good idea to drown us in home work.. but I guess none of you care as long as your fanfic gets posted, right?**

**^-^' here you go.**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 7- Bee Free? How about no.

*Background knowledge, IwuvSoul is freaking scared senseless by real bees*

IwuvSoul: Awesome! Faron Woods! God, I loved this in Twilight Princess! I'm gonna love it here!

Fi: See those bees Link? Be careful!

Link: Yes bro.

IwuvSoul: Wait, what did that say?

(...)

IwuvSoul: MEH! Can't be that bad. LA LA LA LA LA!

Link: *crosses tightrope*

Bees: *attack Link*

IwuvSoul: HOLY S***! MOTHER FU**ING BEES! GET THE F*** OFF OF ME BIT**ES!

Link: *Crazily swings sword*

IwuvSoul: DIE BIT**ES!

Link: *Falls off rope*

Link: *spawns*

IwuvSoul: *attempts to cross cautiously*

Link: *dies*

IwuvSoul: *tries again*

Link: *dies*

IwuvSoul: YOU CAN'T F***ING DO THIS SH**! IT'S F***ING IMPOSSIBLE!

*Later, at Shikaih stone*

IwuvSoul: How the f*** was I supposed to know that?

*Faron Woods*

IwuvSoul: DIE B****ES!

Bees: *dead*

IwuvSoul: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_Directly following this I fell off a cliff running from a angry swarm of bees. It is official now. I f***ing hate bees._


	8. Eye Hate You

**IwuvSoul: OK! So I'm going to start reading reviews and responding to them here! Write something interesting and I may just put enough effort in copy and pasting it! Our first letter comes from Ashlee S who said...**

_"Oh IwuvSoul! You're AMAZING!"_

**NayTayShay: I highly doubt that. She probably said something like "IwuvSoul, you disgrace, go die in a hole!"**

**IwuvSoul: *wince* True friends right? Ashlee S (If you're still reading this you're a good sport and we can be Brosefs!) actually said...**

_"YAY! YOU DID THE POLLY WANT A CRACKER LINE! (Throws virtual streamers!) This story makes me laugh :) Awesome job! BTW: The 'mustache' is actually a braid."_

**IwuvSoul: I think the whole Polly want a cracker thing got you a little too excited... ^-^' But if you'd like I can do it again. What is that? You would? TOO DAMN BAD! Also, I don't understand why there's all these "LOLZ IWUV SOUL IS HELARIOUS!" It's just me yelling at my Wii and my dad coming in... But I guess whatever floats your boat... As for the mustache, I have clarified. Ashlee S, it is both. She braided her mustache. And yes, my resource was me siting at my computer laughing as I pictured her/him in front of his/her mirror braiding it. Don't judge me!**

**NayTayShay: I'm surrounded by idiots T^T**

**IwuvSoul: Oh and by the way, MoMo posted a fanfic called " My best friend's a stalker" based on the crazy stuff NayTayShay, MoMo, Niyan-Cat, and I, IwuvSoul have done over the past year. She took it, edited it slightly so it fit into Skyward Sword, and posted it. She tells me daily at school what she's putting in certain chapters and I still ROFLMO. It's a must read. And no, I will not tell you which one is "Lizzie" which one is "Jessica" and which one is "Saya." ****I'd say I won't tell you which one is Linda, but it's kinda obvious... (I'd tell you in a minute who Lizzie is, but she reads this and I think she'd kill me.) **

**Niyan-Cat: STFU AND WRITE THE DAMN CHAPTER!**

**IwuvSoul: T^T ok...**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 8- Eye Hate You

IwuvSoul: Ok, so there's these damn flowers, what else? Just this? LMFAO this temple is SUPAR easy!

Link: *enters door*

IwuvSoul: Do da do do!

Link: *Sees Iball*

IwuvSoul: God that's gross.

Fi: IT LIKES POINTY THINGS LOLZ!

IwuvSoul: Shut the f*** up Fi. No one likes you.

Link: *nods*

IwuvSoul: WHY U LISTEN LINK! U F***ING DISGRACE!

*Twenty minutes later*

IwuvSoul: WTF BRO? WTF WON'T YOU DIE!

Eye: *bored*

IwuvSoul: *angry*

Eye: *super bored*

IwuvSoul: *super angry*

Eye: *SUPER DUPER BOR-

IwuvSoul: *throws pot*

Eye: *blinks*

IwuvSoul: I F***ING HATE YOU B****! GO STAB YOURSELF IN THE EYE! IT'S YOUR ONLY DAMN WEAKNESS ANYWAYS, YA LITTLE S***!

Eye: *stares*

Link: *stares*

IwuvSoul: *stares*

Fi: *stares*

*silent*

Fi: LOLZ HE LIKES POINTY STUFF!

IwuvSoul: SHUT THE F*** UP FI! WE WERE HAVING A STARING CONTEST YOU LITTLE SH**! GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE!

Fi: *disappears*

IwuvSoul: *guilty* Little sh** got what she deserved T^T, I think...

Fi: LOLZ IT LIKES POINTY OBJECTS!

_I eventually googled it. FML. Fi, I'm sorry for thinking you were pointless and should go die. When I'm not playing. When I'm playing my only thought is God, kill me now._

* * *

**I may stop posting again for a little while.**

**Here's why. **

**1. My school is having an "official opening ceremony" (Cause it's not like we've already been open for 8 months already) and we all are doing stuff. We've got THREE art projects due for Wednesday, and I haven't even started one. **

**2. I'm having a little bit of problems with my good friend right now. At her locker she insisted I waited for her. Then she ran into one of her friends and was like "OMG! I HAVE to tell you this!" even though they had seen each other an hour ago at recess. Then, she talked the entire time to her and ignored me, plus she purposely made herself and the other girl fall behind. Then she made ME chase after a little sisters when they were running away. (One of them was in kindergarten, and neither of them is exactly responsible) I was worried about one getting hit by a car, so I ran after them and pretty much babysitted them the entire way home. Then, I had to wait outside of my house with her sisters for like, fifteen minutes while she talked with the girl at the end of the street and then met me with her sisters. Anyone got any advice? She's an old friend of mine, and we've grown up together (It's been 6 years, so her sisters are a little like mine).**

**3. hypercupcake74 has me living on my email right now, waiting for notifications that says that she's posted a new chapter. I've been sitting there for like, forever and it's getting to me. hypercupcake74**** (Ignore the stuff I said in #2 unless you have help. It's just that.. Shoko, shall we call her, has been making me feel left out)**

**4. I got injected with Hepatitis B today and my entire left arm is numb- I'm finger typing right now.**

**5. Like Death Note characters, I can't focus unless I have a certain amount sugar running through my veins. right now, I'm sugar less. I ran out of lolipops yesterday, and I haven't been able to think since.**

**6. My teachers are drowning me in homework. Today was a good day, I only had a little.**

**I'm gonna go take a long nap until dinner.**

**Polly want a cracker? TOO DAMN BAD!**

**-The lovely IwuvSoul**


	9. Arachnephobia

**Ok guys, this will be the only chapter for a little while. (I know, you're probably thinking "You never post anyways!").**

**I'm going to Florida dor two weeks on Friday, and although I have internet connection, I'm not going to want to be writing the whole time. I may plan out what future chapters will include, but no actual writing. **

**So that's my excuse for the future. My excuse for roght now is that Yes, I have no homework, but 1. I've gotten sucked into I am Number Four by Pittacus Lore and can NOT put it down. #2 is I've been cosplaying a little bit recently. I'm actually only posting right now because yesterday I scared the crap out of myself (I was cosplaying a dead body, if you want to know from where, pm me) because I forgot I was wearing my makeup and saw myself in the mirror. Otherwise I'd probably be in it right now.**

**Another thing. I was thinking about making a facebook page. But would you guys go there? Because if you won't then I don't want to. Too much effort. I'll notify you when I get back about whether I'll make one or not.**

**Because no one reads this, I've just wasted ten minutes I could've spent typing what you all actually want to read. Meanwhile, I still have to update Days Like These, and each of those chapters is like 2000 words long T^T. **

**I've got a lot of work to do...**

**-IwuvSoul**

**Rewrite:**

**All of you are so lucky. :) You know why? Didn't think so XD**

**1. I am back from Florida and am really SORRYYYYYYYY! (I'll write a bunch now, promise)**

**2. I recently lost my IPod which contained the ending of one of myu fanfics (We're talking a good 10 000 words, minimum) plus the starting of a bunch of other fanfics that I had wrote on vacation. I don't feel like rewriting any of it, so I'm searching like crazy. HOWEVER, I did not write a single word of rage quits. So your posting schedule will continue as normal. Everyone else will need to wait until I find it.**

**If you actually read this, post a comment saying " Your loftwing sucks! "**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 9- Arachnephobia?

IwuvSoul: Remind me to do a Jeff the Killer and burn my eyes, ok Link?

Link: *silent*

IwuvSoul: Meh. Who cares if he didn't hear me? Now I have an excuse to murder him later.

IwuvSoul: *sses spider*

IwuvSoul: Ok Link. Remember all those times we trained together? Jumping off stuff? Well it's finally coming into play. Just like How I threw you off those plat forms, I'm throwing you at this spider. LET'S GO!

Spider: *turns*

Link: *slash*

Spider: *swings*

Link: *hit*

Link: *falls over*

IwuvSoul: GET UP YOU F***ING DISGRACE!

Link: *gets up*

IwuvSoul: Good slave. Now get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich.

(No comments about that backwards sentence about me being in the kitchen.)

Link: *gets hit by spider*

Link: *dies*

IwuvSoul: I suppose I could say I'm bad at this game, but I'd rather blame it on Link- YOU DISGRACE!


	10. READ ME!

If you're reading this, you're amazing. If you email me, you're even cooler.

I just started a fan email,. so if you have any questions or requests (fanfics or otherwise) email me at iwuvsoul

I'd love to meet you!


	11. My Favourite Homosexual Boss- EVER

**IwuvSoul: Hi UwuvSouls! (Yes, I made pet names 3 I love you guys that much)**

**MoMo: Why haven't I been in any of these chapters lately?**

**IwuvSoul: Please MoMo. No one reads these anyways. Except Ashley S (BTW Every one of my friends loves you! 3)**

**NayTayShay: That doesn't give you permission to not include us.**

**Niyan-Cat: LOLS! 'Your mom said to say I could have just ONE peanut butter square, but not until after they cooled down!'**

**IwuvSoul: *facepalm* I'm surrounded by idiots.**

**MoMo: That's My line!**

**IwuvSoul: Nobody cares. **

**Niyan-Cat: 'He says he wants MORE Carrots and Breadcrumbs!'**

**IwuvSoul: Shut it Niyan-Cat or I'll hit you.**

**Niyan-Cat: 'Don't HIT me!'**

**IwuvSoul: Um, ok, Then I guess we're friends.**

**Niyan-Cat: 'Since we're friends now you should come over. We're having soft tacos later.'**

**IwuvSoul: Mmm, Tacos...**

***All sentences within ' ' were quotes from Catbug, a character from Bravest Warriors.**

**BTW, When I was reading the comments my face was like T^T Y people hate my loftwing so much? Then I read my own chapter, and well, I feel like an idiot.**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 9- Liking your character's sworn enemy

(Don't hate on me, I love gay people. Be Proud, and don't stab me while I'm not looking!)

IwuvSoul: Ok. Let's do this thing. I've bought stuff from the bazaar, I've fixed all my shields, saved atleast half a billion times, not to mention fed my loftwing and remlet, So I'm Ready! I'm Ready! I'm Ready! I'm Ready!

Ghirahim:*licks entire face*

Link: *disturbed*

IwuvSoul: *amazed* That's one hell of a tongue- All the... stuff... you... could.. do... with... a... tongue ... like... that...

Ghirahim: I'm bored... (I'm writing lines off memory, so if they're short it means he's off talking nonsense or I can't remember)

IwuvSoul: Me too. Listen, about that tongue of yours, have you ever tried measuring it and comparing it to the size of your tongue? 'Cause you're decently attractive bo-gir-bo-gir, whatever you are, but your mouth seems really small, and I just don't know how it fits.

Ghirahim: Let's duel!

IwuvSoul: Does it like, extend past your throat?

Ghirahim: *slices*

Link: *dodges*

IwuvSoul: Oh! I know! It's like those folding tables at Costco right?

Ghirahim: *knocks Link over*

Link: *Groans and rises to feet*

IwuvSoul: No, that can't be it... Hmm... Tell me, Ghirahim, what's your secret? Tongue stretches? Blow jobs? Definitely blow jobs, right?

Link: *is hit fatally*

IwuvSoul: Slave, you can't die until I figure out the secret to his tongue. Continue to fight him.

Link: *puppy eyes*

Link: (telepathically) _Don't make me do this!_

IwuvSoul: YOU DARE DEFY YOUR MASTER? DIE B****!

Ghirahim: *swings*

Link: *dies fatally*

_My after thought was something like this, "He died too well. He was lucky to die by the hands of Ghirahim. When I return to Skyloft I shall take Skyfall and make Link commit suicide a few times. That'll teach him his place."_


	12. Lava Bad (extra chapter Bombs!)

**I'm only writing this because a very scary someone gave me a death threat to post soon- T^T please enjoy. I don't understand what crackfic/Let's play is. My tiny thirteen year old brain cannot comprehend!**

**In other news, I have a couple of surprises for people.**

**1. IF (and one very large if) you write down the date of your birthday occuring in the next 31 days, I'll make an effort to do a shoutout, and I've got an special surprise for the first person who says the one closest to us.**

**2. I've made a facebook account that you guys can friend me on- Tori France. And yes, that's NOT my real name. Simply an alias.**

**3. You guys CAN email me, you know. I DID make an email JUST for you. *cough* iwuvsoul *cough* iwuvsoul *cough***

**4. This will probably be my final post until the weekend.**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point I had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 10( Woo! Double digits!) - Don't touch that Lava!

DOUBLE CHAPTER!

(also includes)

Bombs!

IwuvSoul: HELLS YEAH! NEW WORLD B****!

Link: *careful*

IwuvSoul: Um, a, Hells yeah!

(Fi was nattering away here)

IwuvSoul: Fi, nobody gives two sh**s. Go f*** that hole over there.

Link: *walking*

Lava: Come play in me little boy! I'll be gentle, promise. ;)

IwuvSoul: Link, I think that lava is trying to get a move on you. You're only like, 15, so let's stay away from it.

Link: *walks away*

IwuvSoul: *looks around*

(a slight diagram, if you will. the lava looked this- u around us.)

IwuvSoul: It's Everywhere! We're gonna die!

Link: *not caring*

IwuvSoul: IDEA!

Link: *confused*

IwuvSoul: *pushes Link into lava pit*

Link: *groaning from pain*

IwuvSoul: WHAT THE F***? THE LAVA IS MOLESTING LINK? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

IwuvSoul: *thinking*

IwuvSoul: Actually, it's more of a blow job. If Link didn't like it he would get out. I'll just sit here and wait- OOH! A PENNY!

Link: *dying*

IwuvSoul: Shiny Shiny Shiny Penny. Look Link a Shiny-

Link: *dead*

IwuvSoul: NOOOO!

_I bet you thought I was crying over Link right? Hah, f*** right. It was over my disability to not throw someone off Skyloft when I get bored._

* * *

~EpIc TrAnSiTiOn~

* * *

Mess Up 11- Bombs? Go F*** yourself. Love, IwuvSoul

Fi: Make rocks go boom! Lava come out! You go in! YTunjws,emhjnfygmhdjsoci!

IwuvSoul: Yeah, unhun. Whatever you say

(I was on my IPod)

IwuvSoul: *looks up*

IwuvSoul: Oh, Ok, Just gotta hit that massive boulder thingy. Cool. Sounds easy enough.

IwuvSoul: *throws*

bomb: I'm only going to go halfway- Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ye Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho! *

*Supposed to sound like the TROLOL song

IwuvSoul: No No No NO! Link! FIX IT!

Link: *runs after bomb*

Bomb: *explodes*

Link: *dead*

IwuvSoul: Umm, ok. Well, I guess I'll just, um, try a different way. BUT LINK YOU NEED TO RUN F***ING FASTER!

_Attempt 2_

Link: *runs with bomb*

Link:*explodes*

IwuvSoul: F***.

_Attempt 3_

Link: *running with bomb*

Link: *throws*

Link: *sinks into lava and dies*

IwuvSoul: I F***ing hate you.

_Attempt 4-59_

Link: *running with bomb*

IwuvSoul: Show me you're not a disgrace Link. SHOW ME!

Link: *runs off platform*

IwuvSoul: I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU! IT'S JUST LIKE EARLIER! YOU WANNA BE F***ING MOLESTED BY THE F***ING LAVA AGAIN DON'T YOU? WELL, F*** YOU! I DON'T NEED YOUR F***ING S*** ANYMORE LINK! i'LL F***ING SAVE THE F***ING PRINCESS BY MY F***ING SELF!

( A week after)

IwuvSoul: F*** it. I'm going to f***ing check the f***ing sheikai stone.

Sheikai stone: Just f***ing roll it you dumba**

IwuvSoul: I f***ing hate you, you know that? I really f***ing do.

_Attempt 60- Sucess._

__IwuvSoul: I really f***ing hate this game. I really do.


	13. A Religious Failure

**IwuvSoul: Hi Guys! Today is a very special day for NayTayShay and MoMo!**

**MoMo: Actually, it was my birthday on the weekend...**

**IwuvSoul: I know. But I figured I'd do one chapter for both of you. Now shush. The readers are staring.**

**IwuvSoul: *faces readers***

**IwuvSoul: Welcome to Skyloft! You can drink punch that Groose probably spiked, or dance with Fluffy!**

**Fluffy: *growl***

**MoMo: AHH! WHY'D YOU INVITE FLUFFY TO A PARTY THIS LATE AT NIGHT?**

**IwuvSoul: Because 'Lizzie' was inviting Cupcake.**

** MoMo: WHAT? CUPCAKE IS HERE TOO?**

**IwuvSoul: Yeah! Isn't this great? Hey, NayTayShay, you're not saying much. It's your birthday celebration!**

**NayTayShay: My dango fell over. *crying***

**iwuvSoul: *picks up and hands to NayTayShay***

**NayTayShay: YAY!**

**Link: Hey IwuvSoul!**

**IwuvSoul: WTF? You can talk?**

**Link: Just because I won't talk doesn't mean I can't you little son-daughter of a b****! And I'm tired of all your sh**! SO F*** YO-**

**Link: *attacked by fangirls***

**IwuvSoul: Oops.**

**Niyan-Cat: Ragnorok!**

**IwuvSoul: Yes, Chrona? What do you want?**

**Niyan-Cat: I think Fluffy just tried to kill someone! She/he (even I don't know Fluffy's gender, and I own him/her. Actually, let's make this interesting. Vote on whether Fluffy is a boy or a girl in the comment section!) just bit off someone's arm!**

**Guest: *in pain***

**IwuvSoul: He/She's just playing.**

**Fluffy and Cupcake: *murdering guests***

**NayTayShay: RUN!**

**IwuvSoul: *throws Cupcake and Fluffy and MoMo***

**IwuvSoul: Take that sucker! So long!**

**MoMo: NO! NO! SOMEONE SAVE ME!**

**Iwuvsoul: *running* Some one asked how old I am, and I just wanted to say 13! Also, a quick translation note, Wilure means I won, just in the wrong spots!**

* * *

IwuvSoul: AW YEAH! I GOT SKYWARD SWORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!

_At this point i had no idea what I was getting myself into..._

Mess Up 14- Actually, This one wasn't my fault.

IwuvSoul: OOOH! A TREASURE CHEST! HEY LINK! DO YOU SEE THAT TREASURE CHEST?

Link: *ignores, hoping won't have to jump off cliff*

IwuvSoul: NO YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMB F***! LET'S GET IT!

Link: *force jump*

Attempt 1: Failure. Reaction: Ok, well I'll just try that again. No Link, I don't care if that hurt.

Attempt 2: Wilure. Reaction: I got on a pedestal! I got on a pedestal! Hey Link, did you get on a pedest- F*** you.

Attempt 3: Failure: Reaction: Wait a minute, was that a pot I just saw?

Attempt 4: Wilure. Reaction:

Link: *lands on one with pot*

IwuvSoul: What the f***? It's like god desended from the heavens and was like, "Well, let's just put this f***ing pot RIGHT f***ing here. Not on the ground because it's gonna make it normal. Let's just put it RIGHT F***ING here so that RANDOM PEOPLE JUST KNOW I'M RIGHT F***ING HERE!"

IwuvSoul: *looks and sees monster on other pedestal*

IwuvSoul: OH AND F***ING LOOK. THERE'S THE DEVIL'S MARK ON THE PEDESTALS. NOT ANYTHING COOL LIKE A PENTAGRAM, BUT A MOTHER F***ING ENEMY. IT'S LIKE HE SAW GOD'S POT AND WENT, "F*** NO. B**** I CAN DO COOL SH** TOO!" AND WHAT THE F*** DOES FI WANT TO TELL ME RIGHT F***ING NOW?

Fi: Master, your health is low.

IwuvSoul: NO F***ING SH** SHERLOCK! IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE BEEN PLAYING ZELDA SINCE I WAS 8! AND IT'S NOT LIKE IN EVERY GAME YOUR HEARTS BEAT WHEN YOUR LOW! THANKS FOR POINTING OUT THE F***ING OBVIOUS! WHAT'D YOU DO? GO TO COLLEGE FOR FIVE YEARS FOR THAT?

Fi: Actually, it was University. And it was 6 years.

IwuvSoul: Seriously? You gotta be f***ing kidding me.

Fi: Actually, no. You know Navi? She and I graduated together.

IwuvSoul: It really shows Fi. It really does.

* * *

**I just lost the game- and I have Radioactive by Imagine Dragons stuck in my head!**


	14. Please Read

I probably won't be posting for while as my sister's just been placed in the ER. Sorry for the inconvenience.

-IwuvSoul


End file.
